Sweet Ending to a Sour Spat

Author: Meera, March 11, 2013
We shared our "I love you" cake with each other and also with our neighbors

We shared our multilayered “I love you” cake with each other and our neighbors




In virtually every relationship at some point, spats happen. Here on the farmette, my husband and I agree most of the time, whether the issue is about plants, animals, or us. But when we don’t agree,¬† buttons get pushed and, sadly, anger seems to rise with the decibel levels of our voices.


After the argument is over, we both feel the tension released but the wounding remains in our hearts. We try to find our way back to the other. Sometimes it requires building bridges. I guess that has been the process of marital relationships since pair-bonding began.


Recently, my spouse did two wonderful things following our “disagreement.” He apologized (I did, too)) and he then took off in his pickup, returning home¬† home with an angel statue that now stands in my garden to remind us to be gentle and kind to each other. He also brought sweets and the symbolism didn’t need to be explained.


Quarreling is awful. He hates it. I hate it. But we work so very hard here on this farmette, trying to create shelter (still) while we develop the land. It’s not an easy business. Being too tired to think straight as a reason why you lashed out at the person who should be the most important individual in your life is a terrible excuse.


It’s a better idea to own up to your part in the drama, do what you can to make things right, forgive, and forget. Express tenderness when making up; that way, the ending of hostilities becomes all the sweeter.









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